Couple of days ago I met Hoshank, he fled Aleppo (Syria) three years ago and came to Switzerland seeking refuge.
I asked him about his challenges in Switzerland and he told me a little story.
Since he was in Switzerland he tried to connect with people by being open and outgoing . Inviting them to his place and offering to cook for them or just spontaneously calling them to have a beer in town.
Well it seems it was too much of a culture clash.
People were unable to cope with his warm and outgoing attitude. They didn’t want to be a burden to him plus he felt they were reluctant to spontaneous commitment.
Well he could have been disappointed and sad about the situation and mourn..but this wouldn’t help him connect right?
Hoshank told me that he adapted and tried to adjust his behavior strategically.
When he wanted to invite people over to have dinner he just started telling them that he had cooked too much and he would like to share with them.
People didn’t feel like a burden this way 💜
When he wanted to grab a beer he didn’t ask directly, he just told people that he will be in town and that if they wanted they could join him.
People felt free of commitment 💜
Sometimes we just have to adjust the most basic things in our all day life to achieve great improvements.